Jo's Story

“Fostering has enriched our lives tenfold; I don’t know why I didn’t do it before. If it wasn’t for that radio advert, I may never have become a foster carer.” Foster carer Jo shares the rewards of fostering and wants to encourage people in Essex to find out more information.

Five years ago, I was at a junction in my life; my mother had passed away after I cared for her, and I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I then heard an advert for fostering on the radio; I decided to get in touch, and I've never looked back!

I offer emergency foster care and respite breaks. Respite care means I'm used to a lot of children coming in and out of my house and I love it.

My two daughters have grown up and we have four grandchildren now, respite care allows me to look after children that need it and enables me to be there for my daughters and grandchildren and play a part in their lives too.

I've always worked in the corporate world, but when I gave that up to care for my mother, I discovered that I enjoyed the caring aspect, I was able to nurture her through a tough time with a difficult illness. I also missed having children around and I’ve never looked back.

I’m also part of the Oasis Network for Essex County Council which is an ‘extended family model’ of support for foster carer s an Oasis hub carer, I offer peer support, advice, mentoring and respite breaks, ‘sleepovers’, to other foster carers.

I have built relationships with many foster carers and their foster children and generally, those children are the ones that come to me for respite. Each child or children comes to me every six weeks for a night or two. They say they’re coming to Auntie Jo’s for a sleepover which I love. We really are a big extended family, not only for us but for the children too and it works so well.

Every month we plan larger events and activities for all those I foster. Recently we had a BBQ in my garden and the next event will be a beach day. We also include the birth children of the foster carers too, so they feel included, and it helps to strengthen their relationships.

As an Oasis hub carer I've also been able to explore the children’s interests more because I have the same children stay with me. One young person couldn’t keep their focus on anything, couldn’t sit down without moving around, so we tried baking and they loved it. Now every time they come to stay we bake together and it’s so wonderful to see them focusing on something they love. My house is a home from home.

Some foster children haven’t had the best start in life and don’t always trust people easily. They put up these walls to protect themselves and then you get to see those walls come down little by little as they trust you. I've been able to build brilliant relationships with the children I look after and now they have a safe place to call home with their main foster carer and with me as well. Seeing them develop and be themselves is so rewarding. It’s the small things that matter.

If you do encounter challenges, you have the support of other foster carers in the network, but also from the team at Essex County Council. Your supervising social worker is your first port of call if you need guidance or advice or for assistance.

If you want to keep learning along the way, there is a myriad of training courses available for you to take part in. Some training is required but others you can pick and choose, and I have a strong interest in neuroscience, so I have taken more courses on that to help me understand more. This benefits me, but also the children I care for. You can never stop learning.

I wish fostering didn’t have to exist in the first place. Fostering and foster carers keep children safe, provide a secure and loving environment, and help them reach their potential away from fear and pain. Sometimes a child will have more challenges, sometimes they will be an open book, but they are all individuals. You must treat each child as an individual. Just have an open mind, nurture them, listen to them and don’t give up on them.

A respite break can be a lifeline for foster carers. For 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year, the foster carers are there supporting their young people and like everybody, sometimes they need a break.

Fostering has enriched our lives tenfold; I don’t know why I didn’t do it before. If it wasn’t for that radio advert, I may never have thought about fostering. If you’re interested or thinking about fostering, just investigate it, do your own research, go to an information event, and speak to other carers. There are lots of different routes to fostering and you’re bound to find one that suits you