Dyan Prior Blog

“I found fostering by chance and I wouldn’t change it for the world, it’s an incredible journey.” Foster carer Dyan talks about advocating for your foster children to be the best they can be.

I worked in the social care industry all my life and when my birth children were growing up, I wasn’t ready to stop having children around the house, so my husband and I decided to start fostering. I have now been fostering for 15 wonderful years and currently have five children, three children are adopted and two are in long term foster care.

When I started fostering I had a son and a daughter, my oldest child was 14 years old and we fostered twins who we then adopted.  The twins were a boy and a girl, so the girls would pair up and the boys would pair up and play together. The support my own children gave me with the twins was so heart-warming so see, they loved being involved and were very much part of their lives growing up.

During my career I worked with adults with learning difficulties, and I wanted to look after children with disabilities. Since adopting our twins we have gone on to adopt one other foster child and foster two other siblings of the adopted twins. Four of my children (fostered and adopted) have learning difficulties including one young man who has been with us for 25 years through shared lives schemes. No day is ever the same and I love it.

Because of the incredible support from Essex County Council, I have been able to take on a large sibling group and know there’s always help if I need it. I’ve had sessions with the Council’s psychologist, the training is always brilliant and of a very high quality and you have access to that training anytime.

Offering our children the best education is the most important thing for me. I’ve been very tenacious in ensuring our foster children get the best education possible that supports them with their learning difficulties and encourages learning. If you can open education to your foster children, they can do anything.

Each of my children have different needs and they’re currently at five different schools, but this is the best education they have received because each school is a perfect fit for that child, and that’s what matters.

All my foster children are very smart, they just need the right environment to flourish and now they are.

I’ve learned so much in the 15 years I’ve fostered. My children teach me so much about myself, as well as about them. I advocate being open and honest with my children and leading by example. If I make a mistake, I apologise for it.

We have such a good relationship with our children, which is why they have stayed with us long term. We take holidays together in the UK and abroad and we also invite birth families over (if appropriate) for national holidays like Christmas. We become part of a bigger extended family and sometimes relationships with their birth families are so important.

Children can come into care for a myriad of reasons and these children don’t want to be treated any differently to other children, but they sometimes are. Don’t assume anything about age, ability, and circumstances. Sometimes life hasn’t been kind to them but foster carers can make a difference.

There are so many ways you can foster. There is a child out there that is right for you, you’ve just got to try it and find out. Fostering has allowed me to have job that fits around my family life. I live in the way that I want to live. Fostering is often overlooked but the value in fostering is so monumental!

I found fostering by chance, I never planned on having children at all, and now I have seven children in total, I wouldn’t change it for the world, it’s an incredible journey.